Got A Play Area?

I went looking through my daughter's clothes this morning for something long-sleeved and realized that there were only 2 choices - yikes. I also couldn't find the one clean jacket we bought for her - yikes again. The weather has taken a 20 degree drop in the last 2 weeks and I want to make sure my 2 year old was kept nice and toasty outside at the park.

Those not living in Arizona are probably laughing right now at the thought of someone calling 68 degrees "cold". I can't explain it myself, seeing as how I grew up in Heidelberg, Germany where it rained more often than it didn't, but I guess you acclimate to the extreme heat here and therefore have a new perspective on cold!

But I digress...

I decided that since we're trying to curb our spending I would go to the only used children's clothing/toy store in Queen Creek: The Children's Attic. I saw their ad in a recent Savvy Shopper magazine and wanted to check the place out anyway. They are located at Ellsworth and Ocotillo road and as I parked the car and walked inside I was optimistic that I would find at least 1-2 jackets for my daughter to wear.

The first thing my 2 year old does is (of course) try to climb into a large, sandbox-like, train. The 40-something bald man working the register asks for my attention to the matter, "Ma'am, we ask that she not play in that for her own safety". As he says this to me, and as I pull Davey out of the train box, I look around for what seems to me to be a no-brainer -- a play area for kids -- but to my now-annoyance, there isn't one.

I mention that a play area for kids (or even a couple of toddler chairs in front of a TV playing cartoons like you see at some kids clothing stores at the mall) would be a huge benefit to shopping moms. The salesman (who was obviously the unlucky husband manning the shop for his wife) says they don't have enough room. I say it's a shame and leave it at that.

I have to shop hurriedly with my very inquisitive toddler testing as many toys as she can. If there was a play area for kids, however, I could have taken my time and perhaps made a larger purchase (in addition to all but ensuring my return!).

How can ANY children's store/boutique not have a play area? I think it behooves a shop owner to include that in the store layout to guarantee the most pleasant shopping experience for moms, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Anything you can do to make life easier for moms will be appreciated by return patronage, and isn't the best kind of customer a returning one?

Am I right Moms?

What time is it? No wait, what DAY is it?

Uh..yea. It's been 3 months since my last blog post. Wow. If that's not a sure fire indication that I'm a working mom I don't know what is. 

It's amazing to look back and realize how much TIME you had free for yourself before entering mommyhood.  Whereas before you could get your nails done, do a midnight run to the store or plop down on the couch after a hard day of work now you can't even make a phone call! Is that not amazing? Wo. Speaking of phone calls...I love (not really) how you could be enjoying a peaceful, generally quiet ride home and have the balls to think you can return your friend's phone call. It's as though you have (at that very second of dialing) put on a party hat, started dancing, and are holding a tray of cupcakes all which would make sense if actually true based on your child's 180 degree turn in mood. To throw salt into the wound your husband/boyfriend/baby's daddy looks at you and says in a very I-told-you-so tone, "I don't know why you thought you could make a phone call". ARGH right? LOL

Back to the subject of time. I think becoming a mom is simultaneously the time you'll find out who your true friends are.  Fellow moms need not even explain why it's been so long since they've last seen/spoken to you.  They just know. They know that whatever free time you have is now so miniscule that managing to see a friend once a month is considered a huge success (although we all of course wish we could see eachother every day, especially now). 

For those of you out there that I've managed to slack on calling/emailing/seeing I will try to do better. It's not that I don't care I promise. It's that I'm so tirrreee.....

zzzzzzzzz

Wha? Who? Where was I?

Random P.S. to add.....check out stylecafemoms.com for chic mommy stuff . Super cute. 

I love clever and funny trinkets, doo-dads, thingers and all other useless wastes of money that you find, say, around the checkout counter in Z Gallerie. You know what I'm talking about right? Like the "Safe Baby Handling Tips" on the right. Those purpose-less gag gifts make my day so when I find some that make me laugh out loud AND can actually be used in the house or the office I am double pumped about them. Here's some that I found that I think are hilarious...and some could be especially good ideas for Mother's Day (if the mom in question has a sense of humor of course!):

Kids Art Magnet Inner Voice
Product Description: We all have voices running through our heads commenting on things we dare not say out loud, like how brilliant our infant's hand prints are. Why not attribute these thoughts to your little artistic genius?

http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=2953

I'm As Big As.... Growth Chart
Product Description: I'M AS BIG AS... The yeti? A giant panda sitting down? An average supermodel? The longest recorded moustache? A blue whale's heart? This 6.5 feet high wall mounted height chart has been beautifully researched, designed and produced. Reaches the parts other height charts can't reach!

http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=3417

You know those moments when you and your co-workers are saying "No, what do YOU feel like eating today? I dunno, what do YOU feel like?"? It's the most annoying thing ever. Okay, I exaggerate, but still. This takes the wasted time and guess work out of it (and guilt if you happen to be the only one who does not particularly like Mexican food). Plus, it even helps when you're lunchin' it alone and you can't decide for yourself!

What's For Lunch Decision Maker
Description: It's lunch break again and your body is screaming for caffeine, but your stomach insists on some sort of sustenance. Fortunately, you have this handy 8 1/2" spinner device to consult. Just flick the plastic spinner and it will point you towards one of sixteen different lunch options including "3 Martinis", "Teriyaki", and "Vending Machine". Features a stand and hanger so you can prop it on your desk or hang it in your cube.

http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=2305

Hmm... seems like I'm a bit of a fan of http://www.perpetualkid.com/ uh? Well I'm just a fan of everything funny...wait, did I really just say that? What, like there's a group of people who are fans of everything UN-funny? Oh wait, those are called Democrats.

..giggle..

Excuse me, may I pay you in Cheerios?

If you were to grab my purse and look inside you'd probably be disgusted. There's Starbucks receipts everywhere, makeup in one pocket, lip gloss in another, all drowning in a pool of cheerios. I'm not exactly sure when it happened either, which is totally gross. 2 years ago, instead of cheerios, you would have found loose change at the bottomless pit I know call my purse, but it has since been replaced. I should actually be cleaning those cereal bits out of my purse instead of blogging, but the former is a P.I.T.A.. While driving home today I wondered what else has been "replaced"....

Instead of pulling over to get sick after a night of partying,
Now you pull over to find the pacifier that your baby is screaming for.

Instead of calling in sick to work to stay home,
Now you call your spouse to say you're working late

(just for some alone time).

Instead of flying off to Europe for a vacation,
Now you just fly off the handle when that strange kid at the mall play area

almost pushes your baby down a slide

(Whose kid is this? WHOSE kid IS this??).

Instead of packing a sweater in case it's cold in the restaurant you're heading to,
Now you pack snacks, socks, wipes, sippy cup, diapers, blankey, hat, her favorite toy, book, jacket, Desitin...

Instead of hoping to sit AWAY from families with children when dining out,
Now it's all you ask for to avoid sneers and unsympathetic grunts.

Instead of driving care free and too fast,
Now you seem to drive even more dangerous trying to reach for that dropped cup/toy/cookie behind the front seat.

It's funny how drastically everything changes and how things are "replaced" with the arrival of a child. Everyone tells you (or warns you) but you just can't grasp the enormity of the statement until you actually bring a baby home for the first time.

My old ways have definitely been replaced with new (but not necessarily improved) ones to account for the world with Davey. Do I remember with a smile my days as a 21 year old? Sure do. But I remember with even more clarity the first time Davey said DaDa. It's tough going through these first years of parenthood and it seems we've all got our good days and bad. But you know what? I can't imagine life without her. She's the best damn P.I.T.A imaginable.

Instead of thinking about myself all the time
Now I think about that laugh, that smile, that "oh maaaan".

Now that, that's irreplaceable.

Which one of you is pregnant?

Yep. Every girl's worst nightmare. Someone eyeing your waistline and assuming you're pregnant. The disgusting "which one of you is pregnant?" question was asked to my sister and I inside a Scottsdale Maternity store and I about threw up. She's 4 months along and you can't even tell but it didn't stop me from trying to decide if I wanted to throw my Chai Tea Latte at her face or just ignore her and walk out of the store. The fact that I had on a flouncy hippie-ish shirt is also beside the point as far as I'm concerned. Call me crazy but it seems that just when you think you're okay with the mommy body you've "inherited" this is what happens. Never mind how long it's taken you to look in the full length mirror naked. I think being okay with the clothed body is a big milestone all by itself.

And while we're on the subject... I have never gotten so mad at a rack of clothes in my entire life as I did when I felt it was time to see if I fit into my pre-pregnancy outfits. "How in the world did I wear such a short shirt? This thing doesn't even reach my waistline!", I asked Ryan. As I decide to ignore his oh-God-what-is-the-right-thing-to-say-here expression and turn back to the closet I start to realize that I was now literally 2 sizes larger than I was before and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't force my size "ehem" pants over my size "eeeeheeem" thighs and rear end. The worst part is accepting the fact that you may NEVER get back into those jeans. Couple that with how much you forked over for those designer jeans and you've got a seriously angry mama on your hands. Maybe Ebay to at least recoup the cost? Doubtful, plus who's got the time? I'm personally holding out for a serious case of mono.

The only good thing about the new but not improved body is that you must go shopping. Unfortunately the act of shopping is not as fun as before. Now you have to acknowledge and become friends with your new size. I started looking around comparing myself to everyone around me. My size post-baby is smaller than that single girl's size, I would think to myself. I've got a leg up on her and should be happy with my body then right? Wrong. All it takes is to see that tall, stick thin mother of 3 in line at Starbucks to make you feel like a lazy troll. Where these mom's find strength (let alone time) to work out and eat right I will never know. I sometimes imagine that these women, these freaks of nature, were actually champion breast feeders and that's how they did it. I did two days of it and inexplicably decided to try to pump, at FULL BLAST. Needless to say the end result was not pretty. It was nightmare, like a scene from Saw if you want the truth, but that's another story altogether. I like to pretend that had I been successful at breastfeeding I'd not only have gone back to my old size, but I would have gotten even thinner. Hey, we can all dream can't we? <\div>

For now though I'll just make due by steering clear of maternity stores. I'm going to enjoy my Dove Chocolate squares and my new True Religion jeans. Tomorrow, however, I'll drive right past that new Dunkin Donuts and make plans to work out. Let's just make that I'll drive right past Dunkin Donuts. Um, how about just one donut. No? Just a munchkin maybe?

Stupid maternity store lady.

Accidental Parenting

It was only 2 days ago that my friend Cazzie and I discussed the fear we had imagining the day we confiscated and said bye-bye to the pacifiers. I for one have grown to love the "paci" and am still in awe of it's amazing ability to "pacify" my child. I mean, I know the product's namesake should make its wonders not so surprising but it IS still surprising to watch a freaked out child relax just because she has a bit of rubber on a ring in her mouth. You couldn't give ME a pacifier to make me calm down (although I'm sure a handful of people wish they could do that to me). I love how becoming a mom turns you into such a hypocrite. I swore up and down I'd do this or not do that. I scoffed at the mere thought of walking my daughter 2 blocks down the street and waiting with her for the bus to arrive. I looked down on parents who let their 3 year olds still keep their pacifiers. I whispered mean things about the parents who let their kids get away with the occasional restaurant scream. I was that girl that gave disapproving glances to the mom's handing over some candy or junk food to their toddler.

It's amazing what happens when the shoe is on the other foot, isn't it? Hopefully I'm not the only one who realized the error of their opinions after mommyhood hit. Hopefully I'm not the only mom that regrets those pre-parent thoughts and comments. I try, now, to do 2 things to make up for my snooty behavior. The first is to make other nearby mom's feel a little less uncomfortable surrounded by the non-mom world. If we stick together we won't even notice the I-have-33-cats nag sneering at our little one. The second is to try to apologize profusely to everyone around me in ear shot (who I sense have no kids at the moment) so that they might remember it later on and not jump on the high horse and swear they can do better. I'm not sure how that last one will prevent disdain, but go with me.

Back to the paci. Two Days ago, literally 3 hours after I hung up from the conversation with Cazzie I returned home with Davey. I had picked her up from KinderCare at 6:15pm that day, way later than usual. They close at 6:30 so I was cutting it a little close. Anyway, at a certain point they herd the kids into one room (instead of their normal age-group room) to wait for their lagging parents. I don't especially like this, because, like that day, she was put into a 3-4 year old room and there were crayons and little teeny odds and ends all at reach of my 21-month old. Naturally when I arrive I have to con her away from the crayon TUB that is utterly fascinating to her. "I can grab two full handfuls of these and no one will care? SWEET!" I imagine her thinking. Because she wasn't in her normal room I wasn't easily able to look in her little cubby for the day's craft and pacifier. I thought to myself "ah well, I'm sure I'll find another paci at home".

Well I sure didn't find another one at home.

So guess who had an impromptu paci goodbye? My poor booboozes. She cried for 30 minutes straight when I put her to bed. Half way thru I went in and just brushed her hair, kissed her head, and whispered "I sorry" over and over again. 15 minutes after I left the 2nd time she was out. I am absolutely certain if I had access to a pacifier I would have given in and gave it to her. I guess I must have stumbled on the only way I could have success... ACCIDENTALLY!

We're going on night number three without the Paci and I'm so pumped we got that out of the way. She's still been mentioning it but we keep telling her "it's all gone..paci is all gone baby". Bottom line is we did it! We didn't set out to do it, but she did it!

Take that Mrs. Snotty-Mom. I told ya my girl was tough.

Ohhhh maaaaan....

Ever since Davanee was born I knew I'd slowly but surely become acquainted with the stars of Noggin, Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. I imagined that I'd change from being annoyed with seeing Dora the Explorer in every toy section to being okay with it being on TV. Little did I realize that not only would I be okay with it on TV, I'd be PUMPED to see it come on. Davey loves Dora and will be content to sit and watch her, even if it's only for 5 minutes at any one time. Those 5 minutes are magical though. I'll be so happy that I can pee by myself that when I return to the living room I'll start singing and try to get Davey even MORE pumped about Dora/Hannah/Mickey/Handy Manny. Then I start feeling like a "bad mom" again for allowing my child to watch television. I can only imagine what the SNOMS would say. That aside, another thing I'm surprised about is I will actually get sucked in to the program...and that makes me feel like a complete moron. While Davey enjoys the dancing and laughing on iCarly I'll be wondering how the current episode dilemma will pan out. That's just sad. The worst, however, is when I don't hear Ryan calling to get my attention because I'm so enthralled with the stars on say, Zack and Cody for example. Good Lord. Really? I thought I was much cooler than that. Guess not.

Zack and Cody sure are cute though.

Speaking of cute...our little Davey Baby started saying "Ohhh maaaan" whenever she drops something. I think it's hysterical every time she does it and for the last couple of days I was perplexed as to where she picked that up (Daycare maybe? no...I don't think so). Then today I told my co-worker Jonathan about the funny new thing Davey is doing and he (who has 3 kids of his own) was like "Chrissie, it's from Dora! It's what the fox says when he doesn't "swipe" something". SWIPER NO SWIPEY!

You'd think I would have realized that. DUH.